A taste of the book that I never wrote:
Chapter 1: In which Petunia and happenstance become tragically aquainted.
Chapter 2: Running a-fowl On the Road.
Chapter 3: In which the threat of aniseed extracts a telling confession.
Chatpre 4: Where two travellers become three.
Chapter 5: Jeremy tells a Dark and Prophetic Tale, and the Watcher is Breifly Glimpsed.
Chapter 6: In which the Travellers are Attacked By Digruntled Owls.
Chapter 7: The Cottage of Cheese.
Chapter 8: A mountain is Crossed, but a companion is Lost.
Chapter 9: The Chicken Comes First
Chapter 10: A tall dark is stranger
Chapter 11: In which All is Resolved to the Mutual Satisfaction of All Concerned
Hah! The Cottage of Cheese!
For some reason that made me laugh.