Weddings, parties,….

As I advance further into my middle years, my business idea, “Rent a Dirty Uncle Stan TM” may now be practical.

This is a service for folks who are sadly deprived of that essential element at any family gathering, a sleazy, loud, sexist and disreputable uncle.

You know the guy. He drinks the free booze. He can eat a dry cracker and still somehow end up with sticky blobs on his shirtfront or perhaps on his loud checked jacket. He tries to feel up the bridesmaids. He makes an inappropriate speech. He leers.

Every wedding needs one. If only to throw out.

Or why not try our Tipsy Aunt MargeTM. One sherry and she’s anyones.


Also pictured, the Crazy CousinTM, (out on a day pass from the Home for Special People).

Our staff are waiting for your call.


5 Responses to “Weddings, parties,….”

  1. 1 Dean August 3, 2007 at 11:42 pm

    At last, I have a new direction in my life: to be a Dirty Uncle Stan.

    I’m going to start working on it right away.

  2. 2 sxKitten August 4, 2007 at 3:58 am

    What about Slutty Cousin Jenny, who hits on the best man, the groom, the father of the bride? She’s always a barrel of laughs!

  3. 3 microsoar August 4, 2007 at 10:38 am

    Dean and Sx, I’ll put you down for the Canadian franchise.

    You both need a bit more weathering to pull off Stan and Marge, but I’d definitely like to audition Sx’s Jenny…..

    PS: The picture is of the hosts of the Happy Hammond TV show in the 1960s. From left to right: Uncle Roy, Princess Panda, Happy Hammond

  4. 4 Doug August 4, 2007 at 2:16 pm

    We had our neurotic Uncle Irving; his mere presence would depress a convention of comedians.

    Our Shikker Cousin Miltie, whose morning coffee was bourbon on the rocks.

    My wife’s insane great aunt (?) who liked to comb her hair with her salad fork.

    Yeah, I could go on . . .

  1. 1 Balls and Walnuts - more than you ever wanted to know » Thirteen blasts from the past Trackback on August 4, 2007 at 2:17 pm

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