Half-baked effort

Doug is having a contest. But I can’t enter unless I blog something about baked goods. Well, I bake pretty much as well as I make fascinating small talk at noisy parties, which is to say, you have to be pretty much plastered to appreciate the result.

So here’s my recipe:

  • Go to Safeway and buy a big bag of Crusty White Bread Pre-Mix.
  • Leave it in the cupboard for about 2 years.
  • Decide one wet weekend that fresh, home-made bread would be nice.
  • Dust the cobwebs off the breadmaker machine tucked away behind the 2 year old bread mix.
  • Open the bread mix bag, pull out the yeast satchet, slit it open and then realise you don’t have a measuring spoon. Pour some yeast into the mixing bowl, estimating one and a half teaspoons by the size of the mound. Measure out 620 grams of flour on the postage scales and pour it in. Then 450ml of water, estimated by drawing lines on a 1 litre milk carton after measuring it with a ruler.
  • Put the bowl in the machine, press “Easy Bake/1kg/white/crusty” and wait 3 hungry hours while enjoying enticing baking smells.
  • Try unsuccessfully to cut the resulting crusty but essentially unleavened brick. Remind self that yeast has a use by date.
  • Visit bakery.


3 Responses to “Half-baked effort”

  1. 1 Doug September 26, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    Ah, but it has to be a really, really good bakery.

    I haven’t had a local bakery like that since college. That one (“Virginia Bakery”), the plain white bread was so delicious you could eat it without any butter or jam or anything.

    Thanks for playing!

  2. 2 microsoar September 26, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    Doug, I like the bakery bread (Chesterville Rd Hot Bread), but then, of course, you’re listening to the opinion of someone who buys big bags of Crusty White Bread Pre-Mix, uses a low involvement bread machine, and actually thinks he enjoys the results.

  1. 1 Balls and Walnuts - more than you ever wanted to know » Challah baloo: a contest Trackback on September 26, 2007 at 3:46 pm

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