Kate’s Contest

Here’s my “proper” entry for Kate’s contest. Please be gentle with me. I had fun with it. That’s all that matters isn’t it? …. Isn’t it?….. 

Rafe jerked a thumb at me and pointed to the back..

“Old Joe’s been here all night. I need to close up. Can you do something?”

The figure slumped over the table peered at me blearily over his drink.

“Wha? Oh, Sol, isn’t it. Siddown Sol, do me a favour, keep me company.”

I gestured to Rafe. Give me a minute. Sat across from Joe and waited as he fidgeted, then looked up.

“It’s been a bad day, Sol.” He wasn’t looking at me.

“The usual story?” I really didn’t need to ask.

“Worse. That boy is ageing me before my time.” 

I smiled.  Joe was already an old man by anyones’ standards.

“Hardly a boy any more.” I said.

“Can I tell you something, Sol?” Joe squinted at me. “You’re a good, old friend. You won’t tell.”

“No”, I said. “No, I won’t tell.”

“You remember that there, well, there was some gossip when he was born?”

I nod. An old story.

“ I guess you can count months as good as anyone. Nobody said anything, but yes, he was well along by the time we married. We went away for the birth, thanks to the Government. Stayed away, too, for a while. Said he’d been born later.” Joe coughed. “Didn’t fool anyone. Hmmph”.

“I don’t think anyone cares now, Joe.” I said gently.

He looked up angrily.

“That’s not it. Sol, I do love the boy, but – he’s not mine. ” Joe stared straight ahead. “I don’t know who his real father is. Hell you’ve known her for longer than me. She’s not real bright, but she says she doesn’t know. Has some strange ideas. Fills his head with nonsense. And now….” He groaned

“He shouldn’t have got into politics. He doesn’t deserve this.” He began sobbing into his gnarled, woodworkers hands.

Rafe gave me the wind-up.

“Come on, Joe”. I put a shoulder under his arm and levered him up and out into the street “Mary’s probably waiting for you.” I knew she would be frantic. Her husband in his cups and her son in Pilates’ cells.

Not much of a looker now of course, but 30 years ago? And she liked a drink I know. I’m not surprised she can’t remember.

Hell, I’d just about forgotten myself.


Update:  I did start another entry before this one, but I don’t know if it’s worth submitting.  It needs more work perhaps.  Let me know what you think. (click here)


9 Responses to “Kate’s Contest”

  1. 1 sxKitten November 16, 2007 at 8:34 am

    I like. Although at first I wondered why Joe was upset that his son was a personal trainer…

  2. 2 microsoar November 16, 2007 at 8:44 am

    I, on the other hand, have always wondered why an exercise program was named after a much maligned Roman provincial governor. Maybe he was a really fit guy.

    Glad you enjoyed it!

  3. 3 Dean November 17, 2007 at 12:25 am

    Hah, that’s funny. In the version you posted at Kate’s, the ‘ is missing at the end of ‘Pilates’, and so I just didn’t get it. Didn’t get it until I read this version.

    That’s hilarious. I like the version with the ‘ much better. 🙂

  4. 4 microsoar November 17, 2007 at 7:51 am

    (preens) Hmmm, wasn’t aiming for hilarious, but it’s all good. I’ll see if Kate can edit the apostrophe into it – or perhaps delete the comment and I’ll repost.

  5. 5 Doug November 17, 2007 at 11:49 am

    I’ve never understood how guys could get it up when they’re drunk. Alcohol paralyzes me from the neck down. And up.

    Poor Joe 🙂

  6. 6 microsoar November 17, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    I’ve never understood how guys could get it up when they’re drunk.

    There’s probably a formula there somewhere. Two curves plotted against alcohol consumption. Something like this.

  7. 7 Kate R November 19, 2007 at 1:11 pm

    Heh. I love it but I like the perverse ones best.
    You know the one about Jesus meeting the old man in heaven, right?

  8. 8 microsoar November 19, 2007 at 1:16 pm

    OK, I’ll bite. What about the old man meeting Jesus in Heaven?
    Ohh, … hang on… you mean Geppetto?

    And what do you mean “perverse“?

    PS: should I submit it?

  1. 1 Balls and Walnuts - more than you ever wanted to know » Thirteen PC Games Trackback on November 17, 2007 at 12:00 pm

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