Nescafe Blend 43 no more.

Dear co-workers,

Yes, there are now coffee bags and an honesty jar upstairs near the Charity Chocolates in our office.   I know you have questions.

FAQ

How much do these pouches of the devil’s brew cost?
Well, based on the current exchange rate and possibly due to recent militant action by the Federated Union of Arabica Coffee Pickers, the supermarkets are currently charging a frankly ruinous $9.19 for 28 coffee bags.   Since that equates to about 33 cents per bag,  I’d say 35 cents for one or a flat dollar for three would cover it.

What are you doing with the profits?  Are you hooking us on coffee to fund your shamefully extravagant lifestyle?
As I am scrupulously honest to the last, the extra two cents made on single bags and the single cent earned after a volume Special Discount will be invested wisely in a hedge fund against further coffee bag price rises.  If, however, you think I should just pocket the proceeds, let me know.  I should have enough to cover my initial investment and buy a Big Mac by sometime in 3Q 2025.  (That’s the Japanese 3Q, by the way.)

Who will manage continued supply of the coffee once we succumb to addiction?
Well, I’ll take the “proceeds” and top up supplies as regularly as I can.   However, anyone likely to pass a supermarket is welcome to take the cash and bring back the goodies.  Alternatively, Comrade, you could form a Revolutionary Committee and serve our generous employer, with a demand for decent coffee as an employee benefit.

Can my customer visitors have a coffee bag?
Of course. But don’t forget to fill in an expense claim for the 35 cents and get it signed so you can reimburse the kitty.

You choose rubbish coffee, you idiot!  What if I want a different variety of bag?
I understand your concern and completely agree that it’s a shame that we don’t have your variety here.  And I’d like to thank you for volunteering to go to the shops next time we need coffee so we can all try your preferred blend.

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1 Response to “Nescafe Blend 43 no more.”


  1. 1 Miriam June 28, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    Dear Tina.
    Eeeeeverybody hates you.
    Even people you haven’t met yet.


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